Powerpointless

I think the time has come for a bit of a rant! Those of you who know me will know that I'm not Microsoft's biggest fan, but if there's one piece of software that has been consistently misused to the point where it threatens to kill off civilization as we know it, it's Powerpoint. The Microsoft website promises that with Powerpoint you can 'create dynamic and impactful presentations' . Impactful?!! Good grief! It should have a more realistic statement along the lines of 'With Powerpoint you can muddle through an appalling presentation that leaves audiences fantasising about extracting their own teeth with pliers.'

According to a government website (or my own experience - I forget which), in 98% of presentations involving Powerpoint, it is used really badly. So, without further ado, here are my top six Powerpoint gripes:

(1) When you turn up to a presentation only to find you have to watch someone fiddling about with cables and sockets for half an hour. (Always keep a puzzle book tucked away in your notes for just such emergencies.)
(2) When people stand in the way of the projector and don't realise that they've got last year's sales figures all over their face.

(3) When people think it is somehow adding to their presentation to have every sentence uttered come up behind them with a bullet point attached.

(4) When people are heckled by their own Powerpoint because they've commandeered some incompetent buffoon to click the mouse for them.

(5) When people think that adding stupid clip art and sound effects makes their presentation more 'funky'.

(6) When people seem to forget that they're talking to an audience because they're obsessed with staring at the terminally dull slides on their laptop.