Bogart of the Twa Dogs

I have just returned from a splendid few days in Keswick with Marvellous Merrick. She has written an excellent post detailing our activities, so I thought I'd take the lazy option and just link to her blog.

You may also care to peruse my Facebook photos.

New poem

Screwed up world

From the Gods of Our Time in the Department of Bureaucracy, Postmodernism, Consumerism and Individualism. To the people.

(1) Thou shalt not smoke at bus stops
But you can lust over the adverts displayed there

(2) Thou shalt not eat food unless it has been purchased here
But you can eat chocolate made by child slaves

(3) Thou shalt not use cameras, mobiles or laptops in the designated area
But you can download porn at home anytime you like

(4) Thou shalt not run, divebomb, pet heavily or swim without showering
But you should try to enjoy exercise nevertheless

(5) Thou shalt not walk on the grass, fly kites, play ball games, sit on the wall, rollerblade or cycle
But you can bleed just to know you're alive

(6) Thou shalt observe all health and safety procedures
But you can get wasted in the evening to escape the boredom and frustration

(7) Thou shalt not talk to strangers, make eye contact on the tube, or get too close to people
But you can sleep with anyone you like to try and fill the emptiness

(8) Thou shalt be politically correct at all times
But you don't actually have to care about people you don't like

(9) Thou shalt NEVER claim to know the truth
But must tolerate lies, selfishness, greed and anger

(10) Thou shalt not gently tell others they are wrong
Because it might just save their life and we'd rather they died slowly and painlessly

End of transmission. Please circulate to all for their own good.

© Anne Witton, 2007

Cheeky Ruth!

My friend Ruth came to stay recently and we had a brilliant weekend of troughing at Belle and Herbs, playing pool, playing songs and general larking about. However, when Ruth had gone, I discovered that she had made an alteration to my bathroom which does not reflect well on my domestic skills:

At first I was a little disgruntled by this, but then I realised that it was clearly a time, not a date, and Ruth had just omitted the colon between the 8 and the 0. All is forgiven!