Wittonworld

New website! New blog!

2009-04-03T10:32:00.001+01:00

This blog is now closed as I have set up a new website with an integrated blog.

Please visit me to see my photography and buy greetings cards in aid of charity (plus much more!)

Thanks.

Free Java games for your mobile

2008-03-06T17:44:00.003Z

If you have a Java enabled phone, you can download free games and applications from Getjar.com. What I like about this site is that you can pick your phone make and model and then it will show you all the available software under easy-to-navigate categories (such as Games/Strategy). It also has a very effective search facility and the user rating is a particularly handy feature.

All software shows:
Type (ie freeware / adware / demo)
Date added
User rating (with number of votes)
Downloads

When you have chosen your game / software, click to download both the .jar and the .jad files to your PC. You can then use Euploader.com to upload your files. Once your files are uploaded, you need to log in to http://euploader.com/wap/index.php from your phone and type in the ID and code supplied. The game will then download to your phone.

Hazel the comedian

2008-03-04T10:24:00.000Z

I want one of those!

2008-02-06T11:06:00.001Z

My friend Fiona has recently returned from a work trip to Cambodia and managed to snap this fabulous item for sale!

Don't know about you, but that's gone straight to the top of my Amazon wish list!

Pensionbook

2008-01-22T21:26:00.000Z

Check out Pensionbook - it's hilarious!

Sadie the Bra Lady

2008-01-16T20:35:00.000Z

Last night I went to the WI to hear local legend Sadie the Bra Lady give a hilarious talk about her bra fitting business, along with a demonstration of just how a properly fitted bra can improve your life. Those living in the North East may have seen Sadie gracing the back of buses around the toon, with the slogan, "The Original Quick Fit Fitter". Listening to Sadie was like being treated to an hour's stand up comedy, and was very reminiscent of a Victoria Wood sketch where Julie Walters is giving stage directions to the Piecrust Players. Not only were we treated to a rib-ticking talk, but there was also a raffle with a main prize and - most appropriately - a booby prize. Surfice it to say that my number came up and I left the meeting clutching a bag containing a WI wall planner and a packet of jelly boobs! Now that's got to be better than jam making!

Christmas Greetings!

2007-12-24T19:02:00.000Z

Merry Christmas everyone!

I haven't sent any Christmas cards this year, but instead have made a £100 donation to Traidcraft Exchange (the charity I work for). You can read more about how the money goes to transform the lives of those in the developing world on the Traidcraft website.

I hope that you all have a peaceful Christmas and a wonderful New Year.

Love Anne

Free Rice

2007-11-19T23:10:00.000Z

Here's a great viral that allows you to augment your vocabulary whilst also raising money to provide rice for communities in developing countries. Check out Free Rice and see how your word knowledge shapes up.

The Lost Son

2007-09-18T21:39:00.000+01:00

I haven't blogged for a while because of the general hecticness of life (work, weddings, washing - that kind of thing). One of the things that has been keeping me busy was another opportunity to preach at Chowdene. I spoke about the Lost Son (Luke 15: 11 - 32) and you can read (or listen to the talk) here.

Bogart of the Twa Dogs

2007-07-26T16:54:00.001+01:00

I have just returned from a splendid few days in Keswick with Marvellous Merrick. She has written an excellent post detailing our activities, so I thought I'd take the lazy option and just link to her blog.

You may also care to peruse my Facebook photos.

New poem

2007-07-21T22:52:00.000+01:00

Screwed up world

From the Gods of Our Time in the Department of Bureaucracy, Postmodernism, Consumerism and Individualism. To the people.

(1) Thou shalt not smoke at bus stops
But you can lust over the adverts displayed there

(2) Thou shalt not eat food unless it has been purchased here
But you can eat chocolate made by child slaves

(3) Thou shalt not use cameras, mobiles or laptops in the designated area
But you can download porn at home anytime you like

(4) Thou shalt not run, divebomb, pet heavily or swim without showering
But you should try to enjoy exercise nevertheless

(5) Thou shalt not walk on the grass, fly kites, play ball games, sit on the wall, rollerblade or cycle
But you can bleed just to know you're alive

(6) Thou shalt observe all health and safety procedures
But you can get wasted in the evening to escape the boredom and frustration

(7) Thou shalt not talk to strangers, make eye contact on the tube, or get too close to people
But you can sleep with anyone you like to try and fill the emptiness

(8) Thou shalt be politically correct at all times
But you don't actually have to care about people you don't like

(9) Thou shalt NEVER claim to know the truth
But must tolerate lies, selfishness, greed and anger

(10) Thou shalt not gently tell others they are wrong
Because it might just save their life and we'd rather they died slowly and painlessly

End of transmission. Please circulate to all for their own good.

© Anne Witton, 2007

Cheeky Ruth!

2007-07-16T21:50:00.000+01:00

My friend Ruth came to stay recently and we had a brilliant weekend of troughing at Belle and Herbs, playing pool, playing songs and general larking about. However, when Ruth had gone, I discovered that she had made an alteration to my bathroom which does not reflect well on my domestic skills:

At first I was a little disgruntled by this, but then I realised that it was clearly a time, not a date, and Ruth had just omitted the colon between the 8 and the 0. All is forgiven!

Spot the difference

2007-06-15T17:31:00.001+01:00

You may think that there aren't many similarities between Maltesers and cotton wool, but don't be fooled...

Sometimes my ears get blocked, and now is one of those times. I was prodding my right ear with a cotton bud the other day and now I have well and truly jammed the wax in. In an attempt to be slightly more sensible, I am now putting drops in before I go to bed and placing a small piece of cotton wool in there to stop the drops running out again. Last night, the cotton wool must have worked itself loose and fallen out onto my pillow. Unfortunately, I was having a dream about eating Maltesers at the time and so I ate the cotton wool. I woke up in the morning to find it lying there all soggy and chewed, and I had a very funny taste in my mouth!

(Incidentally, I once dreamed that I was brushing my teeth and awoke to find I'd spat all over my pillow!)

Still shrivelling!

2007-06-01T20:57:00.000+01:00

Here's the latest on the office tomato:

It's looking mighty tasty now - still no mould to be seen! (Incidentally, the box that you can see marked 'Speaker training food' is not full of shrivelled tomatoes. We're not that penny-pinching in the catering department.)

Google's sense of humour!

2007-04-18T08:36:00.000+01:00

1. Go to www.google.com
2. Click on "Maps"
3. Click on "Get directions"
4. Type 'New York' in the first box (the "from" box)
5. Type 'London' in the second box (the "to" box) & hit "Get directions"on the same line
6. Scroll down to step #23

The Amazing Shrivelling Tomato!

2007-04-12T10:27:00.000+01:00

We have a tomato in our office which has been here for weeks and shows no signs of dying. Instead of going mouldy like ordinary tomatoes, the Amazing Shrivelling Tomato just keeps on shrivelling!

We did consider selling it on eBay, but decided in the end to display it on a banana tree for our fellow office workers to marvel at. No one understands the science behind this extraordinary phenomenon, so if anyone can explain what makes the tomato shrivel, please let me know!

Easter message

2007-04-09T21:07:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I preached at Chowdene Chapel in Gateshead, which was a lovely opportunity to celebrate Easter with some fantastic people. We looked at Ephesians 2: 1 - 10 and how Paul's message to the believers in Ephesus speaks to us today of life in Christ. I have posted my notes and an MP3 of my talk here, for anyone who's interested.

Turkey

2007-04-05T21:31:00.000+01:00

Barney and I have just spend a very pleasant week in Turkey looking at ruins, eating kebabs and trying to avoid acquiring Turkish husbands. My pics are now on Facebook for your viewing pleasure. Barney and I have quite different expectations of what a holiday should be, but we are united by a love of playing catch, so all is well. Read more about the amazing Witsy / Barney combo on Barn's blog.

New shoots

2007-03-18T14:42:00.000Z

I'm not much of a gardener (which generally isn't a problem as I don't have much of a garden). My Mum, on the other hand, knows a thing or two about plants and very kindly tidied up my small front garden when she came to stay in January. She also helped me plant some small bulbs and I noticed today when I came back from church that some green shoots have started to appear. This made me think about the 'seeds' of the gospel that we plant when we share our faith with others. Sometimes I get discouraged when I have spoken to people about my faith and there don't seem to be any instant results, but it's helpful to remember that God is often at work under the surface, nurturing the seed that has been planted and causing it to grow. Much of what God is doing can't be seen at first, but that doesn't mean that he has abandoned us. I have seen green shoots of hope emerge from the soil many years after I have started praying for change, growth and healing in my life and lives of others. It is an encouragement to keep planting seed and trusting God that he will cause it to grow and bloom.
"So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow." (1 Cor 3: 4)

I also love the way that the Bible is full of illustrations drawn from everyday life. Jesus told stories about fishermen, farmers and shepherds - drawing parallels between the things they understood and the Kingdom of God. However, I often wonder what modern parables Jesus would tell if he was born in 21st century Britain. Sometimes I feel like some of the potency of these agricultural parables is lost on me as I am an urbanite with little understanding of farming, fishing or looking after sheep. So I'm really grateful to God that today he made the parable of the sower a little bit more real for me.

31 Songs

2007-02-18T18:42:00.000Z

Inspired by (a) the book by Nick Hornby, but mainly by (b) my friend Barney, I have decided to do my own 31 songs. For an explanation and to see the songs click here.

Tacky Tale

2007-02-13T14:28:00.000Z

My colleague Phil asked to borrow some Blu Tack today and this led to a discussion about what a piece of Blu Tack is actually called (yes, it was a slow day in the office). I felt sure that it wasn't a clump or a slice, but that it could be a lump or a blob. As we like to be accurate when it comes to terminology, I had a look on the Blu Tack website to see if they could shed any light on the subject and it appears that the preferred term is indeed a blob. I also found a page of intriguing uses of Blu Tack which was appallingly sexist. They seemed to assume that only men need to attach toll money to a motorbike and only women need to secure dog food bowls to the floor! I have e-mailed them to tell them off for being unenlightened and will let you know their response in due course.

Very excited!

2007-01-23T12:19:00.000Z

I'm going to see the Indigo Girls in a few weeks and the tickets arrived today! (I had to get them delivered to work because they were top security and they had to do a fingerprint check and brain scan before they would let me have them). I had an eBay frenzy before Christmas and bought about 10 of their albums so I'm now trying to listen to them all before the big day. This may require using up some annual leave so that I can spend quality time with my iPod, but it will be well worth it!

Every once in a while...

2006-12-18T15:26:00.000Z

...it's important to embrace one's feminine side with the aid of a feather boa.

Powerpointless

2006-12-14T10:22:00.000Z

I think the time has come for a bit of a rant! Those of you who know me will know that I'm not Microsoft's biggest fan, but if there's one piece of software that has been consistently misused to the point where it threatens to kill off civilization as we know it, it's Powerpoint. The Microsoft website promises that with Powerpoint you can 'create dynamic and impactful presentations' . Impactful?!! Good grief! It should have a more realistic statement along the lines of 'With Powerpoint you can muddle through an appalling presentation that leaves audiences fantasising about extracting their own teeth with pliers.'

According to a government website (or my own experience - I forget which), in 98% of presentations involving Powerpoint, it is used really badly. So, without further ado, here are my top six Powerpoint gripes:

(1) When you turn up to a presentation only to find you have to watch someone fiddling about with cables and sockets for half an hour. (Always keep a puzzle book tucked away in your notes for just such emergencies.)
(2) When people stand in the way of the projector and don't realise that they've got last year's sales figures all over their face.

(3) When people think it is somehow adding to their presentation to have every sentence uttered come up behind them with a bullet point attached.

(4) When people are heckled by their own Powerpoint because they've commandeered some incompetent buffoon to click the mouse for them.

(5) When people think that adding stupid clip art and sound effects makes their presentation more 'funky'.

(6) When people seem to forget that they're talking to an audience because they're obsessed with staring at the terminally dull slides on their laptop.

2 great podcasts

2006-12-14T10:05:00.000Z

I have recently been enjoying Channel 4's excellent Thisisakinife podcast which gives a weekly roundup of the interesting, funny and surreal goings-on in Internetland. The podcast is available through iTunes and is a shortened version of the full show which can be downloaded from the Channel 4 website.

Great for geeks, the Practical Web Design magazine podcast (available through iTunes) is a technical podcast that actually makes sense! There is plenty of really useful information that is pitched at just the right level and delivered in an easy-going way. Highly recommended (unless you couldn't care less how to use Google maps, improve your web images, create podcasts, use cascading style sheets...)

Living alone

2006-12-03T20:40:00.000Z

I live alone. Sometimes I like it but often I hate it. I'm trying to find ways to be more positive in my attitude in general, so I thought I'd list the things I like about living alone:
(1) I can drink orange juice straight from the carton without people knowing I'm a slob.
(2) I can talk to my hamster without it ruining my 'no cute animals' reputation.
(3) I don't have to feel guilty if I don't do the washing up straight away.
(4) I can watch LOTS of snooker on British Eurosport.
(5) I can pray out loud any time of the day or night.
(6) I can strum away at the only four chords I know on the guitar and it doesn't matter that it sounds rubbish.
(7) I can leave an unfinished jigsaw on the table for months without it being disturbed.
(8) I know EXACTLY where everything is.
(9) I can get home late and not be disturbing anyone.
(10) I can wander around naked (until I realise that I live in a ground floor flat with a bus stop outside the window).

2006-11-10T14:57:00.000Z

Catherine Tate - Protection

Persecuted minorities everywhere will relate to this!

iTube

2006-11-10T10:45:00.000Z

Having recently become the owner of a bright, shiny video iPod, I have been whiling away the hours transferring my entire cd collection onto it and discovering just how much embarrassing music I own! The other fun thing I've been doing is putting videos from Youtube onto my iPod, which isn't as much faff as it could be thanks to a great little app called iTube. This takes all the hard work out of downloading and converting the videos; simply paste the Youtube URL and iTube does the rest! You can download iTube for free here.

Peak District

2006-11-04T21:53:00.000Z

I've just had a fun week in the plague village of Eyam with my family and 2 of my mates. Have a look at a selection of the pics I took here. (Thanks to Barney for the last 4)

3 annoying things about TV

2006-10-20T11:13:00.000+01:00

(1) People who clap themselves on gameshows.
(2) Those Endowment Claims adverts that have been telling you that 'time is running out' for at least the last 5 years.(3) The Energy Saving Trust plug where the football team goes on about their pledge to wash their kit at a lower temperature in spite of clearly choosing to play football at night under 30 full power floodlights.

New Quiz!

2006-10-13T17:32:00.000+01:00

Do you know your novels? Can you distinguish C S Lewis from H G Wells, or William Golding from Harper Lee? Find out with my new First Lines Quiz.

Wonderful Word Wizardry

2006-10-13T15:12:00.000+01:00

To my delight, I have just discovered that the BBC has produced an English Language panel show called Never Mind the Full Stops. At last grammar-obsessives like me can enjoy watching fellow language lovers take part in various word games, such as deciphering dialects, correcting bad grammar, and translating texts. Bliss!

Spiritual Battle

2006-10-13T10:16:00.000+01:00

I've recently added some scriptures for the battlefield to my website. Have a look here (Or go to my website and visit the 'Interesting...' section).

Have you noticed? (Part 4)

2006-10-10T17:21:00.000+01:00

Have you noticed that you always find shoe repairs and key cutting in the same shop? It's not as if the two areas are intimately related. Maybe the reasoning was, "People who wear shoes also tend to live in houses, so this is a sure-fire business idea". I wonder what other combo businesses we could create? I've noticed that people who own pets tend to wear clothes, so I think 'Smartpet: Dry cleaners and pet food supplier' is a winner. Or what about, 'Betspecs' - bookies and optician - for people who like to gamble and also own a pair of eyes.

Christ Church Heaton website

2006-10-01T16:49:00.000+01:00

I haven't blogged for a while because I've been busy working on the Christ Church Heaton website. I seem to have been assigned the job of 'image editor' and so have been stalking people with my camera trying to get snaps of them going about their daily business. The website has details about who we are and what we do as a church - click the link above to have a look. And if you're in the area then come and visit us at the People's Theatre at 10am on a Sunday morning.

Addictive games

2006-09-16T15:56:00.000+01:00

Have recently become addicted to these 2 games. Inklink is an online version of Pictionary and Peekaboom is difficult to describe. You'll just have to give it a try!

Foodweek

2006-09-05T16:56:00.000+01:00

Inspired by amateur artist Chris Gillett, I have been taking photos of everything I've eaten for the last week and putting them on my site. You can have a look at the non-frames version of the page here. (Alternatively, click the link to my website on the right and follow your nose)

Broadband!

2006-09-05T16:42:00.000+01:00

Well, I have finally managed to drag myself into the 21st century with the arrival of the Telewest man this afternoon to install BROADBAND! The reason that I had been persisting with my grindingly slow dial-up for so many years is that anything speedier required me to buy a new computer. After trying (and failing) to save up for a new Mac, I was forced to put my snobbish inclinations aside and buy a cheap PC from Dell. However, I will still be using my Mac for most things because it is far better and sexier than anyone at Microsoft would dare to believe. I just need to remember to wash my hands between computers because I don't want to transfer any nasy PC viruses across...

Advice for Bibliomaniacs

2006-08-26T18:35:00.000+01:00

I am what’s known as a bibliomaniac, the definition of which is ‘someone with a lunatic’s passion for collecting books’ according to ‘Forgotten English’ by Jeffrey Kacirk (ISBN 0-688-16636-9, for those of you that thrive on such information). I like nothing more than to hunt in charity shops (or ‘chazzas’ as I like to call them) hoping that I’ll find a book that I’ve wanted for ages at a bargain price, and then get home to find that it’s signed by the author. Although this can be very rewarding and I would highly recommend it as a hobby, there are a few important things to bear in mind:

THE SMELL
There are 2 main smells that you will come across in chazzas; the first is a heady combo of wet-dog-stale-sweat-old-lady-perfume-urine. The best way to deal with this is to have a handkerchief in your pocket, sprinkled with you favourite perfume, that you can subtly bring to your nostrils from time to time. The other smell you may encounter is a rather too liberal use of floral air freshener (presumably the result of enlightened volunteers making an effort to cover up smell number 1). There is no real way to overcome this except to take deep breaths before entering the shop.

BROWSING AND BOOK SELECTION
Try and observe correct browsing etiquette at all times. There is nothing more irritating than a novice book-buyer standing right in front of the shelves whilst thumbing through a tome, thus impairing other customers’ views of the selection on offer. If you wish to examine a book at length, step aside to allow others to continue browsing.

If you’re pressed for time you may not be able to scour the entire collection. In this case, it is advisable to skip out the rotating stands (similar to those used to display postcards) as these are normally filled with Mills and Boon and other romance novels. (Of course, if you are collecting romance novels, then you should head there first). If in a hurry you could also leave out the basket of random books that some chazzas irritatingly have stashed in a corner (usually in the ‘ornaments and bric-a-brac’ section). It is impossible to root through this without making a complete mess and causing a granny to trip over you on her way to the ornaments. These carelessly displayed books are evidence of pure laziness on the part of the staff, who seem to think that they can placate you by putting a sign up saying ‘10p’ a book. 98% of the time the books in these baskets are rubbish.

Another top tip is - don’t buy hardbacks. You won’t be able to carry as many and they’re more bulky on the shelves at home which means - horror of horrors - LESS ROOM FOR BOOKS! They also make reading in bed that little bit more awkward unless you’ve got really strong thumbs.

Sometimes you will find that there is another bibliomaniac in the area who is also scouring all the chazzas just ahead of you. The best thing to do if this is the case is to try and head them off with false information. You could perhaps remark casually to one of the other customers that there a fine second hand bookshop has just opened on Harper Street (when you know full-well that it’s a 30 min walk away and only has a laundrette, 2 florists and a pet shop).

PAYING FOR YOUR BOOKS
It’s advisable not to try and pay with a £20 note as chazzas never have enough change in the tills (or the cashier will painstakingly count out £18.75 in coppers).

Many chazza shop volunteers find it difficult to work the tills and will invariably have to call Maureen and Doris from the back of the shop to help. Maureen and Doris won’t know what to do either, but usually a bit of jabbing at miscellaneous keys will cause the till drawer to open. Be prepared to be patient as this can take a while.

If the shop isn’t busy, sometimes the cashier will comment on your book selection, so be prepared for this. If you’re buying anything embarrassing or risqué - such as ‘The Joy of Sex’ or ‘Genital Warts: Know The Facts’ - you might need to have an emergency plan up your sleeve. You could pretend that you don’t understand English, although they might then wonder why you’re buying books you can’t read and might think you just want to look at the pictures, which could be worse. A better idea is to create a distraction such as shouting “Is that someone getting mugged on the street?” or “I think Barry Manilow just walked past.” Then they’ll probably think you’re a bit odd, but hopefully it will have taken their mind of your dodgy books.

Happy book hunting!

Have you noticed? (Part 3)

2006-08-03T09:57:00.000+01:00

I was at the swimming pool yesterday and it occurred to me that you never see or hear of people using talcum powder these days. Why is that, I wonder? Perhaps people are fed up of the risk involved in carrying talc on the streets after dark, or of the unneccesary delays at customs when trying to import talc from abroad.

Have you noticed? (Part 2)

2006-07-31T09:24:00.000+01:00

Haystacks aren't as much fun as they look. They're not soft and there's a high probability that you'll come out in a nasty rash.

Market Research

2006-07-27T11:31:00.000+01:00

I answered the phone last night to a market researcher who wanted to ask me loads of questions about health and leisure. He was a very nice bloke and I quite enjoyed answering his questions, so I got more co-operative and loquacious as the survey went on. At the end he asked me my name, so I obliged with ‘Anne’. I then thought that might not be enough, so I said, “Do you need my surname as well?” to which he replied, “If you’ve got it to hand”. Luckily for him, I did have it scribbled down on a bit of paper...

Have you noticed?

2006-07-27T11:29:00.000+01:00

I’ve noticed that wherever there is an abundance of shops with names like ‘Cheap ‘n Cheerful’ or ‘Fancy goods 4 U’ there is always an old lady who’s just bought a mop.

Drummin' up the wall

2006-07-27T11:25:00.000+01:00

I went to the Baltic art gallery recently, which has some cracking exhibitions on at the moment. One of them involved a drum kit that has been stuck on its side half way up the wall. As I am interested in all drum-related things, I was admiring it when one of the gallery attendants came up to me and said I could have a go. I had to climb up a ladder to a wooden platform which had a mattress on it and lie on my back to play the kit. It was such an interesting experience and I got quite carried away with various beats and fills. When I’d finished I noticed that a whole crowd of people had gathered to watch me!

Christians and homosexuality

2006-07-25T11:13:00.000+01:00

There are some issues that Christians always seem to be kicking off about, and homosexuality is one. The public reactions of Christians to this sensitive issue usually make me feel very disappointed.

I have been a Christian for 10 years and I believe and trust in the Bible in its entirety, which means that I don't believe that sex outside marriage is within God's will. However, that isn’t a licence for Christians to attack the lifestyles of others or seek to point the finger. I have been involved with a number of evangelical churches over the years and also with some para-church organisations. Whilst most Christians do seek to be loving and accepting, I have found that there is some homophobia in the church. Although this isn't usually expressed in violence, it can be just as damaging. I think there is an ignorance about the issues that gay people face, and an unwillingness to actively reach out to the gay community with God's love. Sadly, the church often isn't a safe place for someone to be open about their sexual struggles and work through issues with God's grace and healing.

In the light of all this, I think that instead of Christians being defensive and unwilling to admit that they sometimes get things wrong, it would be much more constructive to do the following:

(1) Humbly repent of personal and corporate homophobia.

(2) Contact gay organisations to express regret when they feel the church is homophobic and to clearly show God's love for gay people.

(3) Write a letter to the national newspapers saying that God loves gay people and they are just as welcome in church as everyone else.

(4) Speak to gay people inside and outside the church and ask them how you can respond to gay strugglers with sensitivity.

(5) Show more active care and understanding for those struggling with homosexuality within your congregation.

(6) Stop writing defensive letters which just go to add fuel to the argument that the church only ever mentions homosexuality in a negative and confrontational way.

When life is hard...

2006-07-23T20:38:00.000+01:00

Today has been really hard. That happens sometimes. I have spent a lot of today crying about the pain of life. Then this afternoon I picked up a Christian book about love with a smug looking family on the back (always a bad idea!) and it was full of 'life will be rosy if you just do this...' and 'answers' which quite frankly didn't scratch anywhere near where I was itching. So I thought 'Bobbins to that' (or words to that effect!), threw it on the floor and picked up my Bible. I had a look through at Job, Ezekiel and other interesting characters who know all about real life and real struggles and who also know the real God who is bigger than all that. Life's complicated, messy, excrutiatingly painful and just plain crap at times, but I'm glad that I know a God who doesn't try and 'explain away' suffering but instead bottles my tears, listens to my ranting with compassion and never leaves me even when I can't stand to be with myself. And he's the only one who is able to promise that there WILL be an end to all the pain. Amen to that!

My new friend

2006-07-21T21:00:00.000+01:00

I bought myself a hamster today!! She was the only one left in the shop (I don't know whether that's a good thing or not...). She is a dwarf hamster and I have decided to call her Betty. According to my RSPCA 'Care for Your Hamster' book, I am supposed to let her settle into her new surroundings for 24 hours before I attempt to pick her up. I might start by wearing oven gloves just to be on the safe side as she may be small, but her teeth look quite sharp. I'm going to try really hard not to bury her alive like poor old Alf.

Can't Cook, Won't Cook

2006-06-15T09:31:00.000+01:00

I was on the Metro this morning (not the free newspaper, but rather Tyne and Wear's light transport solution), and I was listening in to a conversation being had between two of my fellow passengers. The man was talking about how much he loves cooking and that he sees it as an art. He was saying that he loves creating beautiful dishes and experimenting with tastes and textures. That all sounds very nice, but I can't reconcile myself with the ephemeral nature of it. It seems like painting a beautiful portrait, admiring it for 20 mins or so and then ripping it up. It just doesn't make sense to me.

Vengeance on rubbish websites

2006-06-01T11:19:00.000+01:00

Have you happened across a particularly poor website recently? Spotted any grammar crimes lurking on the world wide web? Typed in a URL only to find that the content has disagreed with your computer and caused it to freeze? Well, help is at hand thanks to Net Disaster. You can destroy crap sites with an array of tools, from the gross (dog poo) to the apocalyptic (nuke, God almighty). It is very satisfying (but sadly doesn't actually do any lasting damage to the sites you target).

Anne Witton's Website

2006-03-14T16:37:00.000Z

Anne Witton's Website

2005-09-13T15:33:00.000+01:00